Thursday, December 19, 2013

On the Nature of Power, Relationships, and Roles

IMPETUS: 

"I feel sometimes when a set of beliefs or ideologies take root in a society, the opposition loses its voice, and struggles to exist, especially when it comes to politics . The party with the louder voice and deeper pockets can direct what is shared with the masses, and in doing so, is able to condition minds. You see it enough, you start believing it." The aforementioned, from a previous conversation, inspired the following:
MUSINGS:

In some cases the opposition arises due to an ideology, only to undermine and displace it or to exhaust itself in its efforts to do so. In other instances they merge, and in others still, they collide - annihilating each other - making room for new emergent standards to spring forth in their stead. There always seems to be a struggle between "what ought to be" and "what ought to be."

So, is what's taking roots the adversary or is what's resisting them - that is to say, the agent of change or its "opposition"? Don't both parties act out from a place of perceived necessity? How are either all that different from one another? They are equally unwavering on their terms as they are flexible. Both have been aggressor and defender towards one another. They feed off of and oppose one another. While they may have some things in common both seem in disapproval of and threatened by the other's presence. It's everyone feeling pressured from their (and one another's) life situations; situations presumed outside of their control. It's your being, my being, and their being all constantly brushing past, narrowly missing, rubbing up against, and colliding into each other. It's an ongoing exchange. Those pressures are real. We react to those pressures with varying degrees of firmness and pliability - we must. If one becomes too rigid or strictly convicted to a behavior, ideal, or principle - ignoring or unaware that it is in their human nature to adapt & explore - they will collapse under the dynamic pressure of life. If one becomes too pliant or loosely convicted - also forgetting their adaptability and inclination to explore - they will similarly collapse under pressure. We spend our lives contributing to the pressure, either naturally so or as modeled. What you've described is an example of how this behavior is made to benefit politics, which is just one, albeit a very influential, area of our lives.

Monday, December 16, 2013

On Honesty

Just the other day my wife and I were discussing what it means to be 'social beings'. It's a hackneyed phrase, I know. But if you'll entertain my quasi philosophic dross, I'll attempt to explain my understanding of the expression and its believed significance. Forthright communication seems more of a rarity than “small talk” or distractive doings. Both behaviors strongly suggest a need to connect, and call attention to their performer’s inability or reluctance to address what’s really important to them.

Recently I attended an annual social gathering. As I entered a room many of the people were standing in places where they’d stood before—several were dressed the same—just as I had previously recalled them. Their mannerisms were eerily similar to what I’d remembered from years past. Conversation was a combination of the drab, banter, and guttural utterances that I'd imagined were meant to compliment or mimic the grating sound of the music the environment was enveloped in. It was as though I was watching a rebroadcast of an episode of some TV program that I’d already seen. It seemed contrived. Someone brushed past, reminding me of my involvement. I stood there, as the room shrank, circling my forefinger around the lip of the beer can I was holding, and that I had no intention of drinking. It was compulsory to roam with one in hand. It could be used in lieu of the small talk. Wherever awkward or silent struck one need only feign a sip and nod or excuse themselves to retrieve a “cold one.” Despite trying to avert the small talk the behavior simply reintroduced itself. The gathering was one of revelry and distraction; one large exhaust pipe through which pent-up stress seemed to eagerly waft. The levity afforded by the costumes betrayed those so adorned, and what was enacted, at times, clearly expressed what remained unspoken; a need to connect and to feel attended. The small talk and distractive doings were abundant.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Poetry: 'This Too Shall Pass...'

Shades of life soon fade away;
The nondescript that grow and grey,
like charcoals born from earthen grass,
whence clay is formed. Here life is kiln,
so all are ilk, creation lorn, this mother's milk.
This trial - These tears
From one stems some, throughout the years.
She's sown, she's reaped;
They've grown, she weeps;
The depths she's been
are heights they'll reach;
This well of wealth - beyond compare -
from which a wet is drawn;
to quell the fires of despair;
to quench both thirst and scorn.
She yawns of grief - this gentle soul;
These hands so frail, so strong;
Forever in our hearts remain this beauty now felt gone.
In dawn, in dusk, on earth, in space,
her presence always near...
Have peace; her spirit's now diffuse
in all that's life so dear.
Aft'all your mourning, rest assure
forever is now hers!
No humanness: today / tomorrow;
her legacy a loving bur.
Her essence clings to free from sorrow
those who wish her near;
A love so infinite to always stir & steer;
What's left behind is to remind
the beauty of her years.


R.I.P. Carmencita Nievera Barretto
Monday, December 2, 2013, 11:24 a.m.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Poetry: 'I, Ne'er-Do-Well'

Big, small, short, tall, steep, deep, sleet's maul;
Rainfall, sunshine, day, night, climb, crawl;
Wander, wonder, touch, smell, taste & see
 
I, Ne'er–Do–Well.
Ocean, sound, bay, and rift;
Bight, fjord, coastal strip;
Foot hill, mountain, cave, and cliff;
Valley, desert, ridge & creek;
River, vista, plateau, peak;
Easy, moderate, strenuous, stream;
Ravine and all things in between!
It's all I think, am, love, and dream
— 

To people places never seen;
To someday speak, "Then-There I'd been";
Towards all things earth and space made keen;
Where All is never as it seems;
And All gathers and loses steam;
It's depth and breadth I'll always knead.
On this, the Bread of Life, I'll feed;
until my time has come,
and I've returned to where I'm from

The End, where I'd begun.
The End's where I'll begin.
My friends, we'll meet again...
And, on that you may depend!
This senselessness that send;
This trek portends what lay in wait beyond the Idler's bend.


Thursday, November 7, 2013

On Faith & Love

Faith, for me, is complete trust in the 'existence' of God*; not in the religious doctrine that seeks to substantiate or traditionalize God's existence.

Like in a Trust Fall exercise, I am certain of God's presence about me, but uncertain of whether or not God's intention is to catch me. My mind anticipates the fall, expects, and prepares for the worse, in the event that God has different designs (or more important things to tend to at that moment). After all, if my prayers are not answered I must take reasonable measures to ensure my well-being, while trying not to mistake an undesirable outcome as some personal affront and act of God. But then again, how would I know if it were?

Monday, October 28, 2013

On Misery: Latent Inner Strength


Rather than distancing myself from the Triumvirate of Misery (i.e. "...sad...grief...pain.") I use it as an opportunity to cultivate and focus my energy in order to enhance familiarity with myself. Misery draws (maybe drags is more accurate) my attention more fully in to the issues I'd prefer to forget or ignore. I can choose to face them instead of quippishly excusing the significance of addressing them or romanticizing my capability to cope with them. I give myself over to the sensation of misery, learn what I can from it, and move on. This is how I try to deal with my "Dire Wolves of Misery".

Currently, I choose to believe that their purpose for giving chase is to challenge me so that I might confront them and grow in my acceptance, love, and understanding of self, so to realize my potential. They enrich my life, guide, and nourish me. In nurturing my understanding of misery, what was once an intruder is now a welcomed guest. If viewed as before, then the purpose of the wolves is relegated to the act of mangling my existence. I assign them new meaning, and name them. I disempower them. They are well-behaved to the extent that I am aware and intolerant of their mischief. Misery's affect is in a person’s attitude towards it.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

On Slow Reading

It is difficult for me to finish a book. I can, but not without dismantling it. I do not mean this in the sense of pulling its binding apart or tearing at its imposition until it resembles the remains of an old accordion although I have done so with a required reading or two in my time. My brain pores over each line of text with its fine-tooth comb, with the inquisitiveness of an Edward Stratemeyer character.

Reading can sometimes be very exhausting for me, but unfortunately for all the right reasons. Simply, I am intrigued and so I dismantle. I explore each sentence and word with an appreciation for their placement, and the understanding that a writer addresses their work with the same meticulousness and peculiarity of any other specialist, but mind you, specialists who rely on writing just the same. I want to know them. What are they saying? And, why? Much of what I read, be it fiction, biographies & memoirs, psychology, history, current affairs, cultural, multicultural, social, religion, reference, narratives, self-help, blog entries, and facebook posts, the similarities are stark. All that I've read consists of some central burden and intent with existence as its crux. The more I read the more I realize that this theme is an undertone being played out in all areas of life for all time. This seems valid irrespective of media or "progress".

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Random Thought (#9,349,492,495,321,188,945...)



I'd like to celebrate Unhappiness as the precursor of Happiness. It has been given a bad rap, as Unhappiness is the less desirable of the two. Unhappiness identifies a present state of being. For some it is a destination; it is where they arrive at and sometimes remain. For others it may be viewed as a place of departure. It is a trailhead from which to begin ones journey toward fulfillment. With each instance of unhappiness comes the opportunity to experience happiness. Unhappiness is then the origin of hope. It is the assurance that happiness exists. It is up to each of us, however, to head in its direction. — A.O.Reed

Sunday, September 29, 2013

On Miracles: For Open Minds & Hearts

Yesterday evening, when we came home there was a curious package at our door. Like all packages it had addresses and a postmark. We read ‘where’ it was sent from, but it took a moment for us determine ‘who’ had sent it. It was unexpected. We remembered a brief Facebook message from a day or two ago: “What’s your mailing address?” We replied and thought nothing more of it. But now, we knew its significance. Now we knew the ‘who’. 

The children went to bed. I smudged our home and chanted a prayer of thanksgiving, compassion, and praise. Afterward, Madalyn and I sat on our living room carpet, adoring California (our new family member). As we embraced, we discussed our travels; from pre-school to present day. We reflected on our blessings and the ‘would you have ever thought...’ thoughts. We then opened the package to reveal three brightly colored skateboards, complete with stickers and “stunner” shades. I was moved to tears, and Madalyn was speechless. “What have we done to deserve this?” I blurted. It was similar to what was felt when just a few days earlier our Secret Santa’s mother called to inform us that she would be making an unsolicited and substantial contribution to our daughters’ college funds. Coincidence? I think not. Miraculous is more like it. We went to bed with gratitude in our hearts and happiness on our minds. 

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

On Actions & Attitude

The key to fulfillment is within you; look no further — not up, not down, neither right, nor left. Your happiness does not depend on accolades, the approval of others, or material possessions. Should you choose to project anything out into the "world", project Love through your cultivated Love & Acceptance of self; from such Love stems Love of all (which is essentially still self).

People's actions reflect their attitude, as do yours. Be reminded of this at all times. This understanding will help facilitate within you an accountability for all you do and say, and it will aid you in your practice of taking nothing personal. It is an empowering understanding
— knowing that much of what others do & say has far more to do with themselves than you. Have you ever shared your dreams & aspirations with people only to be met with discouragement, doubt, or what "you should..." do? The discouragement, doubt, or "you should..." that you encounter may simply be your detractors' insecurities or beliefs. There is no need to make them your own. It may be prudent to acknowledge and carefully consider these projections.


Oftentimes, such encounters can be dealt with in one of three ways: 1.) Reactively (i.e. defiantly or defensively), 2.) Resignedly (i.e. passively or obediently), or 3.) Undeterred. Remember that come day-end these are your dreams & aspirations and your life experience we speak of. Intuit (or reason) your way through life with an appreciation for the opportunity it presents to you and/or an appreciation toward whatever you believe has provided you with said opportunity. Enact your appreciation through responsible and considerate living.

Be Well, Loved Ones...

Albert

Monday, May 20, 2013

On Change: Packing Up & Letting Go


Today's Treasure: "The end of a thing does not mean its destruction, but its fulfillment."

We're moving. We've been planning a cross-country road trip for just over a month. We started to do so before our Vancouver trip. The purpose of Vancouver was to give our daughters and their grandmother an adventure together; knowing that my 69 year old mother (a three time cancer survivor) would probably not be able to endure such a trip again. The adventure was also an opportunity to establish and strengthen family ties. With our loved ones (i.e. Team Santa-Iglesia, Team Abrigo, Gelo & Racquel, Aunt Kathy & Tim, Uncle Dennis & Shekoufeh Tousi, Samantha & Michelle, Team Valdez-Ramos, Team Arellano, Team Smith, et al), it turned out to be a most memorable life experience! It further excited us about the prospect of our cross-country adventure.

Our purpose for this summer's ‘six-weeker’ is three-fold: 1) to bond, 2) to learn, and 3) to let go. You see, we moved in to our townhome two years ago. It was a big deal for us. Until then we had spent the last nine years in what was about a 550 sq ft addition to my wife's mom's house. Before then, when Kaia was first born, we lived in a 375 sq ft studio apartment. We're a compact family. We like to believe that our children, while having grown up with little (more their estimate than our own), have done so with a profound appreciation for whatever has been afforded them; be it quality time with loved ones, their imaginations, or gifts from family & friends who have been a blessing to us time and time again. Initially, the townhome represented independence. It has since stood as a reminder to us of everyone that has ever helped us along our way. While it has served as a two-floor 1,314 sq ft living space, it has also become a space of sentimentality; something to which we’ve become attached, and for good reason.

Friday, May 10, 2013

On Social Media and Loneliness

Loneliness seems to be the undercurrent. To my understanding the primary reason that networking sites like Pinterest, Facebook, Myspace, Instagram, Twitter, Google, etc are such a success is due to loneliness or longing. They seem almost a symptom of it. They fill a need. Being acknowledged (i.e. heard or seen) is high in demand; almost desperately so. You couple that with a human's apparent need to share and voilà, you have the makings of a successful social media model. Google+ goes so far as to state, "Google+ aims to make sharing on the web more like sharing in real life." How is that even possible while you're seated on your posterior or glued to some sort of screen or monitor?

This speaks volumes of a disconnect as a culture or species, although a great many might have you convinced that there is nothing wrong with this. After all, what's wrong with celebrating our successes? At least, that is how it must be packaged by our 'plugged-in' purveyors. While their niche isn't 'isolation' and 'loneliness', they have certainly benefited from the epidemic. Medicine is only profitable when there are those to medicate. "It's all in how you view it" (yeah, okay). While there is nothing wrong with that, it does seem disingenuous when all that's seen or heard of a person's online persona is 'picture perfect'. It almost promotes and perpetuates a climate of insincerity and an insatiable state of wanting to measure up to the exploits of those "living the dream." Or to, at the very least, market your dream (nightmare for some) a little better than you have to-date.

Monday, May 6, 2013

Today's Treasure:


"Never discourage anyone who makes continual progress, no matter how slow."


Memo to Self

Improve the quality of conversation by...
  1. Eliminating "Yes, but..." and "I know" (when I don't really), "I assume", " or "You, He, She, They, or We should..."
  2. Offering undivided attention and listening at least as much as I speak
  3. Taking nothing personal and aging with a sense of humor intact
  4. Limiting my contribution to experiences & ideas rather than hearsay, condescension, criticism, or unsolicited advice

Poetry: 'Narkissos'

Art: Narcissus (1597-1599)
By Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio

In the spirit of "celebrating the role of
correspondence in poets’ lives and
work," as the Academy of American
Poets is doing for National Poetry
Month, I've written the following
poem in the form of a letter
:
Sweet Listless Lot,

Solipsistic thoughts, which disavow the know. I’d have you here for wine & fare, but you’d prefer to remain there; where naught exist nor grow. I fret, this setting is for two. And though you fast, beset by love, you think there less than few. Your eyes, a vacant well; a vast and empty space, across which stars are strewn. The table I’ve prepared for us is Siskiyou in bloom; painted in the Sun’s embrace, at night framed by the Moon. Sinews of your somber state are prison to us both. No warden, but belief. No pardon, only grief. Here Mourning Bourn, where lonely spawn and swim downstream to feed.

What then am I to you? A figment? A bedraggled hue. “Nothing”—this for sure. For either you and I exist or this a narcissistic fit; one stirred, and one secure. Belief as Maldives sea: sunken treasure, coveted, precious clarity. To find such understanding, but to have lost all sight of me. So, I bereft, ‘til death do part, to love one such as you; unless retained, as day did start, a ‘know’ thought disavowed. The unrequited love I yearn, and solipsistic thoughts I scorn, a conflagration of the soul, a spirit here in pitch-and-roll, and burning ‘midst the storm. A maelstrom of mind so torn, forthwith this memo born!

So then, to whom is this addressed? So listless have I been?! A self-absorbed abhorrent ford across which thoughts have swept. To me this letter’s sent; my deplorable ascent. I've wept this pool. A lonely fool. How long here have I dreamt?

Resignedly,
The Spent

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Poetry: 'Faith, Hope, Love, and Luck'

A four-leaf clover found our daughters on St. Patrick's Day 2013. The event inspired the following poem:

In all the time I've taken to arrive at where I have
Under all the stones I've capsized
Amidst the canyons and the dales
The cracks between the concrete
Beneath the shadowed brush
The front, and back, and side-yards of buildings seen & been
Below the broadleaf canopies where nightingales sing
Upon the ground, along the course where thrushes come-and-go
In hopes year-after-year, aft passing of the rain or snow
Not ever—and felt never—seen or see a four leaf clover,
'til the day my daughters say, "Oh, dad, look here at this!"
Be still this heart it lists, after I had slowly sauntered over.

No effort, nor their desire to find...
No time, no search, no piece of minds...
devoted to this shamrock here;
Toward such good fortune they'd been steered!
So long I've searched, til sadness perched;
A dream no more pursued, and me resignedly imbued...
'til what you've searched your life to see...
arrives by way of para 3. And, with it, gifted clarity!
Sweet life & love gifts Rarity, so freely without chase!
The lesson that I've learned this day:
To bloom where you've been placed.


Today's Treasure

A belief's reality is at least in its effect.  — A.O.Reed

On Love and Fear

Love is as we are, and as we have always been. Fear is what occurs when we have forgotten ourselves. Love is ever-present. Fear is an illusory state of existence. It is the haze of uncertainty that persistently veils what genuinely prevails. Fear dwells where Love permits it to. Love is acceptance, and so Love is a generous host; almost patient to a fault. Fear forgets its place when Love forgets itself. It is indebted to Love and takes advantage of this hospitality, mistaking the tenant for landlord. Had Love not accommodated it so, where else might it rest its worrisome head?

Fear sometimes behaves as though Love were not present. And so, we only need be reminded of our true nature and origin: Love. We are Love. Upon this realization the identification with (or 'as') Fear then recedes into the minds that imagine it, just as hurriedly as it had come to their forefront. Love is as we have always been. Fear is our lack of presence. Whensoever absent, Fear naturally presides.

Without Love there can be no certainty; only skepticism and suspicion. So it is fitting that in this state of existence, where the individual struggles to remember themselves as Love, much less their fellow selves as so, that Fear is what is generally identified with and perpetuated. The prevailing culture is then a magnified reflection of this absence, turned in on itself. It is armor and armament to a Love that does not recognize itself. In such a state we may identify ourselves as Fear. We are reactionary, quick to defend and identify with mental positions; replete with insecurity and paranoia.

Until self and selves are made familiar the mistaken identity will remain. This is not because Love is not ready, but because the all-important 'I' will not give in so easily to this realization. Fear is a comfortable thing to be. This is the eviction of Fear. It is the repudiation of false self and selves, and the celebration of the One that we comprise; Love thyself, Love is thyself and Love of All that is. Such is Genuine Love. Where there is Love, Fear has no place. We can not be the one (i.e. Fear) while fully aware of the one we are.

Be Well, Loved Ones...

Albert

Poetry: Untitled

To each a dream we think our own. 
leafing, fluttering, flying, soaring 
through reason,
that bread back to stone...

Appreciate all, as Life is season;

no winter, spring
no summer, fall...
lest this we co-create is pleasing; 
the human beings' dream and drawl.

Monday, March 18, 2013

On Present-Mindedness and Potential

While learning from ones mistakes (i.e. past) and planning (i.e. future) serve practical purposes, either can become debilitating and ruinous if used to facilitate and maintain regret, resentment compulsive expectations, or longing. Past for past's sake and future for future's sake is quite unhealthy and unrealistic, however much of a reality it seems for many.

Just as working in an office environment all day is practical for the procurement of money (thus clothing, food, and shelter), living solely as such would invariably lead to some sort of social constraints, physiological dysfunction, and an eventual marked inefficiency in the overall performance of ones professional and extracurricular tasks. The affect of such behavior permeate modern values, conventions, and social practices; they are symptoms of an idealogical extreme. The point being that there is a purpose to such things, but only up until a certain point of preoccupation.

Monday, January 21, 2013

On Gaia

My Understanding: Humans = Animals = Plants, not Humans as greater than All or Animals as greater than Plants. You only need reference nature in order to understand the equipoise in the mutual existence of all three. We tip the scales to suit ourselves at the expense of all other Life. At some point the Earth or Universe will right this imbalance, as it has historically. We can either be reminded of and abide by its inalterable laws, and learn from past experiences, or be consumed by our arrogance and short sightedness, and be recycled with all that is left in our wake, to start anew.

You can not usurp Life and expect to be left with anything other than death. You can not tamper with what the Earth has tempered and measured with great certitude over several epochs. You can not best, with what little human intellect has ascertained over the course of mere centuries, what Earth has so generously provided & birthed over aeons, without expecting all that has come to afflict our prideful species at present. It suffers our unappreciativeness. Animals and Plants no more belong to Humans than Humans belong to Animals or Plants. Earth is not ours; we are of it. Yet, we are its only offspring to claim sovereignty over it. If the lesson is not learned it will be taught again...and again...and again.

Be as you choose, Loved Ones...

Albert

Saturday, January 19, 2013

On Self Study & Health

"Whenever the immune system successfully deals with an infection, it emerges from the experience stronger and better able to confront similar threats in the future. Our immune system develops in combat. If at the first sign of infection, you always jump in with antibiotics, you do not give the immune system a chance to grow stronger." —Andrew Weil, MD

Embrace the ailment! Some words that are associated with being sick are miserable, weak, suffering, aches, pains, discomfort, et cetera. You will seldom hear anyone say, "Oh, rapture! How wonderfully delightful this congestion, nausea, headache, chills, and diarrhea are. Encore! Encore!" Right? Culturally, ailment has been given a bad rap.

Personally, it is a positively advantageous inconvenience. "Huh?", you say. It is advantageous due to what the above quote suggests. It is an inconvenience when it conflicts with work or play. Sometimes we impatiently reach for pills, syrups, shots, and solutions without taking into consideration that our body is working out a solution of its own. The mucus, coughing, vomiting, sneezing, pooping, et cetera are all a part of a process that has been demonized, forgotten, or written off. Whatever is believed about our species' beginnings, be it "Genesis", 6-7 million, 2.5 million, or 200,000 years ago, the 'process' of which I speak has been around far longer than modern medicine. The 'immune system' knows what it is doing. It has been working out the kinks of immunity since the dawn of mankind and quite possibly beyond.

Term of the Day: Antipositional Play

"A part of an incorrect plan rather than a mistake made when trying to follow a correct plan. Antipositional moves are often pawn moves; since pawns cannot move backwards to return to squares they have left, their advance often creates irreparable weaknesses."

Poetry: 'Just...'

There are a many I forms
that believe themself to be
just an average persons,
but they are something more to me.

Where the world and their existence
may be for them a place in time;
for me, a space to exercise intention
and to sculpt & shape their minds;
whereabouts to excavate invention
from the depths of dream & being;
an extension of some nothingness
where things aren't what they seem.

There are many people
that view Life as "things I must...",
trusting only in those things
they hear, see, smell, or taste and touch.
And, while such an existence
may, to them, seem quite robust
How fuller it would then become
if viewed as more than "Just..."

For them, it's just the way things are.
it's just a life to plan.
it's just another day.
it's just a beach & sand.
it's just in the nick of time.
it's just plants & animals to see.
it's just a sun that shines.
As such, a boring place to be.

For me, we see things as we are.
it's a life we co-create.
it's another opportunity.
it's a meditative state.
it's luck or fate or happenstance.
it's life, that is like our own.
it's the constant of a warm embrace,
a miracle, a marvelous place,
an empirically exciting space,
for ALL on Earth, it's Being,
and seems to me a precious home.