On Change: Packing Up & Letting Go

Today's Treasure: "The end of a thing does not mean its destruction, but its fulfillment."

We're moving. We've been planning a cross-country road trip for just over a month. We started to do so before our Vancouver trip. The purpose of Vancouver was to give our daughters and their grandmother an adventure together; knowing that my 69 year old mother (a three time cancer survivor) would probably not be able to endure such a trip again. The adventure was also an opportunity to establish and strengthen family ties. With our loved ones (i.e. Team Santa-Iglesia, Team Abrigo, Gelo & Racquel, Aunt Kathy & Tim, Uncle Dennis & Shekoufeh Tousi, Samantha & Michelle, Team Valdez-Ramos, Team Arellano, Team Smith, et al), it turned out to be a most memorable life experience! It further excited us about the prospect of our cross-country adventure.

Our purpose for this summer's ‘six-weeker’ is three-fold: 1) to bond, 2) to learn, and 3) to let go. You see, we moved in to our townhome two years ago. It was a big deal for us. Until then we had spent the last nine years in what was about a 550 sq ft addition to my wife's mom's house. Before then, when Kaia was first born, we lived in a 375 sq ft studio apartment. We're a compact family. We like to believe that our children, while having grown up with little (more their estimate than our own), have done so with a profound appreciation for whatever has been afforded them; be it quality time with loved ones, their imaginations, or gifts from family & friends who have been a blessing to us time and time again. Initially, the townhome represented independence. It has since stood as a reminder to us of everyone that has ever helped us along our way. While it has served as a two-floor 1,314 sq ft living space, it has also become a space of sentimentality; something to which we’ve become attached, and for good reason.

On Social Media and Loneliness

Loneliness seems to be the undercurrent. To my understanding the primary reason that networking sites like Pinterest, Facebook, Myspace, Instagram, Twitter, Google, etc are such a success is due to loneliness or longing. They seem almost a symptom of it. They fill a need. Being acknowledged (i.e. heard or seen) is high in demand; almost desperately so. You couple that with a human's apparent need to share and voilà, you have the makings of a successful social media model. Google+ goes so far as to state, "Google+ aims to make sharing on the web more like sharing in real life." How is that even possible while you're seated on your posterior or glued to some sort of screen or monitor?

This speaks volumes of a disconnect as a culture or species, although a great many might have you convinced that there is nothing wrong with this. After all, what's wrong with celebrating our successes? At least, that is how it must be packaged by our 'plugged-in' purveyors. While their niche isn't 'isolation' and 'loneliness', they have certainly benefited from the epidemic. Medicine is only profitable when there are those to medicate. "It's all in how you view it" (yeah, okay). While there is nothing wrong with that, it does seem disingenuous when all that's seen or heard of a person's online persona is 'picture perfect'. It almost promotes and perpetuates a climate of insincerity and an insatiable state of wanting to measure up to the exploits of those "living the dream." Or to, at the very least, market your dream (nightmare for some) a little better than you have to-date.

Today's Treasure:

"Never discourage anyone who makes continual progress, no matter how slow."

Memo to Self

Improve the quality of conversation by...

1. Eliminating "Yes, but..." and "I know" (when I don't really), "I assume", " or "You, He, She, They, or We should..."
2. Offering undivided attention and listening at least as much as I speak
3. Taking nothing personal and aging with a sense of humor intact
4. Limiting my contribution to experiences & ideas rather than hearsay, condescension, criticism, or unsolicited advice

Poetry: 'Narkissos'

Art: Narcissus (1597-1599)
By Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio

In the spirit of "celebrating the role of
correspondence in poets’ lives and
work," as the Academy of American
Poets is doing for National Poetry
Month, I've written the following
poem in the form of a letter:

Sweet Listless Lot,

Solipsistic thoughts, which disavow the know. I’d have you here for wine & fare, but you’d prefer to remain there; where naught exist nor grow. I fret, this setting is for two. And though you fast, beset by love, you think there less than few. Your eyes, a vacant well; a vast and empty space, across which stars are strewn. The table I’ve prepared for us is Siskiyou in bloom; painted in the Sun’s embrace, at night framed by the Moon. Sinews of your somber state are prison to us both. No warden, but belief. No pardon, only grief. Here Mourning Bourn, where lonely spawn and swim downstream to feed.

What then am I to you? A figment? A bedraggled hue. “Nothing”—this for sure. For either you and I exist or this a narcissistic fit; one stirred, and one secure. Belief as Maldives sea: sunken treasure, coveted, precious clarity. To find such understanding, but to have lost all sight of me. So, I bereft, ‘til death do part, to love one such as you; unless retained, as day did start, a ‘know’ thought disavowed. The unrequited love I yearn, and solipsistic thoughts I scorn, a conflagration of the soul, a spirit here in pitch-and-roll, and burning ‘midst the storm. A maelstrom of mind so torn, forthwith this memo born!

So then, to whom is this addressed? So listless have I been?! A self-absorbed abhorrent ford across which thoughts have swept. To me this letter’s sent; my deplorable ascent. I've wept this pool. A lonely fool. How long here have I dreamt?

Resignedly,
The Spent