On Faith & Love

Faith, for me, is complete trust in the 'existence' of God*; not in the religious doctrine that seeks to substantiate or traditionalize God's existence.

Like in a Trust Fall exercise, I am certain of God's presence about me, but uncertain of whether or not God's intention is to catch me. My mind anticipates the fall, expects, and prepares for the worse, in the event that God has different designs (or more important things to tend to at that moment). After all, if my prayers are not answered I must take reasonable measures to ensure my well-being, while trying not to mistake an undesirable outcome as some personal affront and act of God. But then again, how would I know if it were?

I like to believe that the 'I' that exists beyond, and that is bound by, my conscious reasoning is a part of God; albeit a very conflicted part. I'd liken this experience to a tree's presumed inability to fully understand its significance amidst the other plant life on earth, as a necessary contributor to life itself, or a cell's inability to comprehend the whole of the organism that it is a part of. It is frustrating to believe that you're here for a purpose, having to plod through life without having found it. Such an understanding will always remain out of reach. I (the tree or cell) am what I am, and only God (the plant life or organism) knows as God knows. I sense that I am more insignificant than what the ego suggests, however important enough to have been brought in to existence. At times I question the naïveté of the latter. I wonder why I so strongly identify with the sentiment; whether it is of God, intuited, learned, or a symptom of some insecurity.

My faith is tempered by a passion to discern what is of God or of myself (via reason). It is maddening. I do not know what to believe. I think that the mind manufactures belief from the experiences & information it has acquired, so I have difficulty believing (at times) that God or my belief in God is any more than a purely cognitive and cultural inheritance; much like a person's formal education or any learned behavior.

For me, faith is then relegated to a decision. If it is a decision, it is then the byproduct of thought. Thought is an act of the mind. The mind is the depository, interpreter, and sensory hub for human activity. The mind is the arbiter of intelligence. What I believe in (or have faith in) is the existence of Whatever initiates and sustains life—Whatever it might be that initiated my being, and so my cognitive and presumed unconscious capacities. What I can not relate is the purport of God, nor can I rationally confirm God's existence, beyond what I have come to accept as true in my own mind.

This much I think I know; life has always seemed to work itself out at the most opportune of times. This is what I call God and have faith in. When I stop trying to force things in to place; when I stop expecting things to go wrong or right; on the rare occasions when I stop over-thinking things, the outcome is appreciated and I sigh with relief. I try to remind myself of the God in all, but my vision (and so attitude towards life) is often obscured by my own valuations. Perhaps this is where life benefits most from the mind's desire to sink its teeth in to problems. During these moments I exercise it with the intention to reconcile my Ideal Self, the me that I'd like to better recognize & acknowledge the God in all as, versus the me that says he does, but finds himself frequently judging himself, others, and the world around him as. God 'is' Life—the nothing and something from and within which all else exists. God is everywhere, in everything, all the time. More than anything else, that is my family. God is family, and every moment of every day is an exercise in learning to love my family.

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Love, for me, is an openness to and acknowledgment of ones connectedness with everything else in existence. It is the constant challenge to recognize oneself as of the world (and multiverse) around them, and to recognize its importance above their own, as an individual. Love is where no one thing is ever unaffected by the action or intent of another. Love is service to others, and so self. Not to be mistaken with providing service to others for personal gain, but rather as the means for maintaining the health, and ensuring the progress, of the whole.

Be Well, Loved Ones...

Albert 

* "God" is simply a term that is familiar to me. An expression I employ to acknowledge The Source. For me the term seeks to stubbornly identify the unidentifiable, to name the nameless, to describe the indescribable, explain the unexplainable, and/or to make something of its great nothingness. For me, it represents the totality of the experience; "Life" (not as the opposite of death, but all inclusive), as we've named it, and well beyond my understanding of it. This is what is meant in my use of the term "God".